insecurities.

Theres usually only one thing that matters the most to me, in my life.Being who i am, being a good friend to everyone whose ever chose to let me be theres.
Its weird to think of how much of an impact your friends can have on you...and its not just your best friends or your close friends its even your ok-friends (first impressions mean everything) Im not talking about the kind in which you change yourself 'accidently' to the mold of your them( a clone ) im talking about how things said to any form of friend at one point in time the impressions made and words exchanged between them feel like empty promises and hopeful thoughts when you go and look back upon each friend you lose and gain you wonder if you got anything out of that friendship or if you will gain anything from knowing this person a new perspective, a lesson learned, a tip of advice for the future, a person who is always there no matter what ?? (etc etc.)
Well, For the most part, everyone has known me to be a happy person...a smile and even a short friendly conversation with a stranger is never out of the question for me, i maybe like you or someone you know whomever is reading this now, tend to put other people before myself, why? because, i care.for the 17 years i have been alive so far i have learned that as much as that is a smart idea its also VERY stupid ...because what you do is give up a part of who you are (unintentionally of course) to other people. Your joy, that smile, and every short friendly coversation over time, adds up to alot depending on if youre like me and have alot of friends simply because of that, and eventually your left standing alone, there are some people who will tell you in life that in order to be happy you have to sacrifice someone elses happiness first...But what if, your like me and you cant and you just keep giving and giving and people keep taking and taking and eventually they take all your shine,sparkle whatever you wanna call it and you are no longer that happy person but merely someone who fakes a smile and hopes someone will come along someday like you and genuinely say they appreciate you when you need to hear it most.



....whatever.