Not really to much has been happening lately. Mainly just getting ready to go to the Myrtle Beach with [best friend] Cary in 4 days (July 30th-Monday). I've been so un-motivated to do anything lately. Very odd for me, I honestly dont think I've ever been like this.
But, this past Monday I got the new Harry Potter book, the final. So thats probably why I havent done much, I've been reading it since I got it. It's good so far, so many are dying in it though...which I didnt expect to happen, but I suppose it would have to since the series is ending.
Last night I went to the mall to meet up with Kimmy at her work. I hadnt seen her since she moved. So it was nice seeing her again, I had missed her so much. I plan to hang out with her more though, we cant keep letting it take so long to see each other, as good of friends as we are. But I also met her new boyfriend last night, heh...she always wants me to approve since she's had so much trouble in the past. Plus, she tells me I'm good with reading people and always correct with the vibes I get from people. But I think he's quite nice. Good for her anyways.
And today, I picked Cary up from summer school. Tomorrow's her last day, finally! hehe. But as soon as I came home, I fell asleep until 3:30. Longest I've slept in awhile. It felt so weird waking up that late, as if it were the next day. Luckily we live right next to each other. Then later ..well tonight...I went over to her house, & we watched youtube videos and wrote lists of what to bring on our trip to the beach. Watching the videos kind of motivated me to make my own tonight, but I dunno if I'll upload it or not. Even though I'm motivated, I'm still tired...so we'll have to see. But speaking of videos, I plan to make LOADS at the beach, since it will be a beautiful setting and easier in a way I suppose. So I'm looking forward to that. As I'm sure Kimmy, Alex, and a few others will like also.
blah, im getting to tired to type...if thats even possible.
so i'll write more either later or tomorrow.
cheers.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
who i'd like to meet
Someone i can talk to late at night about why i think we're alive and why the grass is green, why your eyes are the color they are.
I want someone who wants to stop time, no matter light or dark and just to lie there with me, to listen to the sounds, forget the world, no connection to the outside world, no phone, no computer, no one else besides you and i.
Id like to meet someone who wants to understand my philosophy about love and life. Why i find sufferage that we're born into as another lesson in life we choose to learn from or chose to repeat, the line between foolish and loving. I am a soldier for what i believe and i believe in me.
I know this is no movie but dont doubt that you've never expierienced a moment in your life, where everything felt so perfect, captured like a movie in your own head. Life is no fairytale but i wont let my story end with nothing achieved.
I want to say i have found love, experienced and felt, i want to know that i lived a life full of wonders. When i die i want to know i left an imprint on peoples lives that changed them for the better. I want them to say that i loved like no one else could, i took the chance that everyone is always afraid to.
Even though I havent experienced it..I believe in love and i wont let anyone say im wrong.
Love can change you, its never always happy because life isn't always fair, its also choosing the better of two evils, understanding what has to happen, has to happen. Being able to stop holding back and into nerosis to try to change the outcome and feel what you need to feel.Fear is one thing but so is courage and strength.
I want to meet someone who will teach me for the better, i want someone who i can learn from. I want to teach you what i believe.I believe in happinessI believe in loveI believe that being content is not enoughI believe that striving, trying and never giving up, no matter how hard it is, is what we all have to do.
I just need my loved ones close,im not going to lie but it gets lonely out here sometimes....
I want someone who wants to stop time, no matter light or dark and just to lie there with me, to listen to the sounds, forget the world, no connection to the outside world, no phone, no computer, no one else besides you and i.
Id like to meet someone who wants to understand my philosophy about love and life. Why i find sufferage that we're born into as another lesson in life we choose to learn from or chose to repeat, the line between foolish and loving. I am a soldier for what i believe and i believe in me.
I know this is no movie but dont doubt that you've never expierienced a moment in your life, where everything felt so perfect, captured like a movie in your own head. Life is no fairytale but i wont let my story end with nothing achieved.
I want to say i have found love, experienced and felt, i want to know that i lived a life full of wonders. When i die i want to know i left an imprint on peoples lives that changed them for the better. I want them to say that i loved like no one else could, i took the chance that everyone is always afraid to.
Even though I havent experienced it..I believe in love and i wont let anyone say im wrong.
Love can change you, its never always happy because life isn't always fair, its also choosing the better of two evils, understanding what has to happen, has to happen. Being able to stop holding back and into nerosis to try to change the outcome and feel what you need to feel.Fear is one thing but so is courage and strength.
I want to meet someone who will teach me for the better, i want someone who i can learn from. I want to teach you what i believe.I believe in happinessI believe in loveI believe that being content is not enoughI believe that striving, trying and never giving up, no matter how hard it is, is what we all have to do.
I just need my loved ones close,im not going to lie but it gets lonely out here sometimes....
all built up.
I want something awesome to happen to me.
It's been a long time since I've had something life changing happen.
I feal all this creativity and motivation building up inside. Slowly it builds but, I dont use it. Im begining to want to do something huge and be something more than I am. I want to make or do something. It's driving me nuts.
It's only a matter of time before I get bold and decide something.........something beyond all this.
It's been a long time since I've had something life changing happen.
I feal all this creativity and motivation building up inside. Slowly it builds but, I dont use it. Im begining to want to do something huge and be something more than I am. I want to make or do something. It's driving me nuts.
It's only a matter of time before I get bold and decide something.........something beyond all this.
tomorrow.
I try to move forward but I feal like Im moving backwards. I try to be patient, but I dont have the time.Im waiting for tomorrow, but in never comes. I wish I could see the future so I could stop and breathe. To take it all in and relax. Because I know that tomorrow would come and I would be patient, because I knew I had the time.
I want to be sure that my love will last forever the way it does in my heart. I gave up so much and set aside my gifts...All for you ...All for you.
Time keeps ticken, but Im not moving. Im still right here waiting for you. Patiently I wait as my hair turns gray and my bones start to crack. Then I close my eyes for the last time. And there you were there with me. So perfectly together as we should be. And finally time stopped and I was sure of everything.
No more waiting, because tomorrow...... never came.
I want to be sure that my love will last forever the way it does in my heart. I gave up so much and set aside my gifts...All for you ...All for you.
Time keeps ticken, but Im not moving. Im still right here waiting for you. Patiently I wait as my hair turns gray and my bones start to crack. Then I close my eyes for the last time. And there you were there with me. So perfectly together as we should be. And finally time stopped and I was sure of everything.
No more waiting, because tomorrow...... never came.
colour.
Color is all around us the beauty of life but yet everyone ignores it. Seriously when was the last time you put down your ipod or stopped watching tv or got off your computer to just go sit outside and just look around? I realized life is more about money and what possesions you own and who your friends are. Its about living and feeling. When you feel love or pain or happiness even sadness your living its all a part of life and in the big picture no one person rules above another were all just like little ants in a colony.Theres millions of people in the world so who can decide who is perfect and who is not? No one. Living is what we do and theres thousands of possiblities in your life. So whats the point in trying to be perfect....nothing. Live life and be who you are and all those colors will surround you and one day you can find peace in happiness with yourself.
life.
Have you ever felt like you're just another second, minute, hour in an everday pattern of clockwork?
Have you ever felt like your life is just one big case of deja vu?
Have you ever gone to a place and yet it seems like you've already been there?
Or met someone you've already met?
Or do something that's already been done?
All to appear like one long dream you just can't wake up from.
Have you ever met a new love and yet you already know how it's all going to end?
Make the same mistakes over and over again, knowing the consequences to come but still acting blindly because every time you've convinced yourself that maybe this time it will be different?
Well that's life.
And if you think it's pointless then you're an idiot.
Because it's like a blank canvas, it's only pointless if it's not put to use.
Have you ever felt like your life is just one big case of deja vu?
Have you ever gone to a place and yet it seems like you've already been there?
Or met someone you've already met?
Or do something that's already been done?
All to appear like one long dream you just can't wake up from.
Have you ever met a new love and yet you already know how it's all going to end?
Make the same mistakes over and over again, knowing the consequences to come but still acting blindly because every time you've convinced yourself that maybe this time it will be different?
Well that's life.
And if you think it's pointless then you're an idiot.
Because it's like a blank canvas, it's only pointless if it's not put to use.
what ever happened to love?
Why aren't their proper relationships anymore?
When I look around at most couples all
I see are relationships relvolving around sex and 'sexual stuff'.
What ever happened to cute relationships?
Relationships with hugs, holding hands and sweet kisses.
Not tonguing, groping & whatever shit.
Having a person to trust.
Having someone there for you.
Having someone to hang out with.
Having someone to tell everything to.
Having someone to cry on.
Having someone to cuddle with at any time just to hear your hearts beat together.
What ever happened to love?
I want love
not STDs
p.s. of course its not incredibly horrible to have sex as long as it has love in it
but it is when your relationship revolves around it.
& im just personally..now...waiting for marriage.
if that ever happens..
& Im not saying all true love is lost.
but to many people throw that word around now.
as if the word were equal to 'I' or 'and' ... which we say all the time throughout our day.
you shouldnt love every single person you go out with, or tell them.
especially if you have a new bf/gf like weekly.
i mean...i want to experience love the most. out of everything.
& to many people are abusing the word, & love itself.
arghhhh.
When I look around at most couples all
I see are relationships relvolving around sex and 'sexual stuff'.
What ever happened to cute relationships?
Relationships with hugs, holding hands and sweet kisses.
Not tonguing, groping & whatever shit.
Having a person to trust.
Having someone there for you.
Having someone to hang out with.
Having someone to tell everything to.
Having someone to cry on.
Having someone to cuddle with at any time just to hear your hearts beat together.
What ever happened to love?
I want love
not STDs
p.s. of course its not incredibly horrible to have sex as long as it has love in it
but it is when your relationship revolves around it.
& im just personally..now...waiting for marriage.
if that ever happens..
& Im not saying all true love is lost.
but to many people throw that word around now.
as if the word were equal to 'I' or 'and' ... which we say all the time throughout our day.
you shouldnt love every single person you go out with, or tell them.
especially if you have a new bf/gf like weekly.
i mean...i want to experience love the most. out of everything.
& to many people are abusing the word, & love itself.
arghhhh.
insecurities.
Theres usually only one thing that matters the most to me, in my life.Being who i am, being a good friend to everyone whose ever chose to let me be theres.
Its weird to think of how much of an impact your friends can have on you...and its not just your best friends or your close friends its even your ok-friends (first impressions mean everything) Im not talking about the kind in which you change yourself 'accidently' to the mold of your them( a clone ) im talking about how things said to any form of friend at one point in time the impressions made and words exchanged between them feel like empty promises and hopeful thoughts when you go and look back upon each friend you lose and gain you wonder if you got anything out of that friendship or if you will gain anything from knowing this person a new perspective, a lesson learned, a tip of advice for the future, a person who is always there no matter what ?? (etc etc.)
Well, For the most part, everyone has known me to be a happy person...a smile and even a short friendly conversation with a stranger is never out of the question for me, i maybe like you or someone you know whomever is reading this now, tend to put other people before myself, why? because, i care.for the 17 years i have been alive so far i have learned that as much as that is a smart idea its also VERY stupid ...because what you do is give up a part of who you are (unintentionally of course) to other people. Your joy, that smile, and every short friendly coversation over time, adds up to alot depending on if youre like me and have alot of friends simply because of that, and eventually your left standing alone, there are some people who will tell you in life that in order to be happy you have to sacrifice someone elses happiness first...But what if, your like me and you cant and you just keep giving and giving and people keep taking and taking and eventually they take all your shine,sparkle whatever you wanna call it and you are no longer that happy person but merely someone who fakes a smile and hopes someone will come along someday like you and genuinely say they appreciate you when you need to hear it most.
....whatever.
Its weird to think of how much of an impact your friends can have on you...and its not just your best friends or your close friends its even your ok-friends (first impressions mean everything) Im not talking about the kind in which you change yourself 'accidently' to the mold of your them( a clone ) im talking about how things said to any form of friend at one point in time the impressions made and words exchanged between them feel like empty promises and hopeful thoughts when you go and look back upon each friend you lose and gain you wonder if you got anything out of that friendship or if you will gain anything from knowing this person a new perspective, a lesson learned, a tip of advice for the future, a person who is always there no matter what ?? (etc etc.)
Well, For the most part, everyone has known me to be a happy person...a smile and even a short friendly conversation with a stranger is never out of the question for me, i maybe like you or someone you know whomever is reading this now, tend to put other people before myself, why? because, i care.for the 17 years i have been alive so far i have learned that as much as that is a smart idea its also VERY stupid ...because what you do is give up a part of who you are (unintentionally of course) to other people. Your joy, that smile, and every short friendly coversation over time, adds up to alot depending on if youre like me and have alot of friends simply because of that, and eventually your left standing alone, there are some people who will tell you in life that in order to be happy you have to sacrifice someone elses happiness first...But what if, your like me and you cant and you just keep giving and giving and people keep taking and taking and eventually they take all your shine,sparkle whatever you wanna call it and you are no longer that happy person but merely someone who fakes a smile and hopes someone will come along someday like you and genuinely say they appreciate you when you need to hear it most.
....whatever.
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